Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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