Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
