Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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