Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
there is glitter all over my balls
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