the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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