Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
