Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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