I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize