WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
