I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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