I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
last night I used snow as a chaser
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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