DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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