That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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