im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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