If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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