This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
