I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
