my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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