I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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