I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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