Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
