Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am naked and annoyed.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
