just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize