Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
