Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
look no pants
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
