My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
