Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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