i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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