Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I AM VODKA MAN
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
