I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
