Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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