Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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