He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We're too hungover to prance.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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