Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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