Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
