Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
