I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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