Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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