I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
