I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
