Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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