Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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