So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
