It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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