I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
