last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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