You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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