so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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