Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
