So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
