too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
