I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
