she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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