apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So much Jack, so little girl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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