you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
