i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize