and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
