But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
