my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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