Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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