Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
