ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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