i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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