His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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